3D Mailbox: Worst Software Ever? Or Simply the Boldest?

Ladies and Gentlemen...

I'm pleased to announce that I have created what some hacks are calling the worst software ever invented. To be able to beat adware, spyware, and malware to the bottom of the heap (without being adware, spyware, or malware) must take some special skills...

If, of course, the haters are correct.

Love It? Hate It? Both Good

To many people, 3D Mailbox is revolutionary and a work of genius. To many others, it's the devil incarnate. It's a "love it or hate it" product. And that's good.

It's great that people are getting emotionally worked up. Passion is good!

Though some brave souls have called 3D Mailbox "genius" (Nigel Powell of the Sunday Times, for one; and thousands who like it enough to pay for the registered version and remove the watermark), others in the rabble are screaming acronyms like "WTF!" and even "WTF!?".

This isn't new to me. In 2004, I launched VisitorVille. It received a similar, though less viral, reaction. People couldn't see the point of visualizing live web visitors. But gradually people got it, the media praised it, and it thrives to this day.

What's the Beef?

Unwittingly, I irked a few overweight peeps by depicting spam as an obese man (66.3% of Americans -- myself included -- are officially "overweight", according to the CDC, so statistically I had a good chance of doing so).

I also raised the envy hackles of some women by depicting good mail as "Bond Girls". Although there are 18 male bimbos as counterparts, they are ignored. One female blogger wrote: "For a start my email appears to have a better body than me, a better tan than me and even my junk mail gets to go to the beach more than I do". The title of her post is: "Does This Email Make Me Look Fat?" She didn't realize that there's an option to view men only, which solves the dilemma.

Moreover, I released the product at a time when some people are fed up with hearing about Second Life, and fearing that 3-D is Web 3.0.

Most importantly, I have touched something close to people's heart -- their email client -- and introduced the possibility of change. People have emotional attachments to technology. Somebody wrote: "If we don't kill this thing right now, ALL future email programs will look like this!"

Yes, it all spells: Emotion! And people say irrational things when they're angry or feel threatened. Like "worst. app. ever."

Why All the Girls in Bikinis?

For movie buffs out there, the entire first level is a near-replica of the opening scene of Goldfinger, the James Bond film. The Bond girls are referenced in a campy way, and Odd Job himself has put on a few pounds since the advent of the Big Mac. It's the Fontainebleau Hotel, Miami, circa 1964. Get the film from NetFlix and you'll see!

"This is a joke, right?"

This was the tagline posted on Digg.com, in reference to our Trailer. It was the Tag that Launched a Million WTF's, as it were. Many people cannot fathom how a company could launch a promotion that doesn't take itself too seriously. The trailer is tongue-in-cheek and, like the first level itself, is a send-up of Hollywood kitsch. It's just about fun.

Granted, I have a lively sense of humor. I have done dozens of comedic videos featuring an Italian fashion photographer named Marcello Mastrantonioni who takes himself way too seriously, much like my critics do. I do it in Italian, for verisimilitude, and subtitle. This would generate a lot of WTFs, too.

"15 Years Worrying about Technology"

In the bio of the guy who called 3D Mailbox the "worst software application I have ever seen", he says he "has been worrying about technology for the last 15 years".

Well, for the past 15 years, I have been celebrating technology, creating innovative uses of it for people to enjoy, and loving every minute of it.

Which camp are you in? For your own happiness, I hope the latter.

I doubt Mick Jagger has spent the last 40 years worrying about rock n' roll.

Worst. Software. Ever.

Okay, let's put on our thinking caps and get to the bottom of why 3D Mailbox beats spyware, adware, and malware to the bottom of the heap:

Does 3D Mailbox do malicious things to your computer? Er, no.

Does it crash if you have at least the minimum requirements (which every $700 computer today has)? Er, no.

Does it violate your privacy? Spam you? Steal your credit card and Bloomingdale's card? Er, no, no, no.

Is there violence, misogyny, sex, cruelty, racism? Er, no, no, no, no, no.

Does it take long to download? About 9 minutes on DSL.

Does it require a lot of system resources? Yes, but that's no surprise (there's a 3D game engine inside). However, we have different settings for different computers, and you can easily find one that doesn't interfere with your workflow.

Does it make a few people uncomfortable, remind us of the annoyingly-successful Second Life, and threaten the Old Guard? Ah ... yes. Bingo.

What, Me Stupid?

I'm not new to software. I've been creating products that have succeeded in the marketplace since the early 90's. And yes, I really do own some private islands, all thanks to software I've created. I finance all my own ventures, and do what I think is fun, not what is cynically designed to dupe a demographic or raise capital.

Like 3D Mailbox itself, I'm unconventional. I work out of my home office in West Virginia, and manage a team of 40 people spread around the world whom I love to work with, and who do amazing work. Up to three hours a day, I pretend I'm Lance Armstrong and hammer the mountains of Western Maryland. I love Shakespeare. I lived and worked in Paris, Venice, Florence, and Milan for a decade. I bake artisan bread. I'm a happy husband and father. In short, I enjoy life. And all that fuels my innovation.

It's funny to me that most people assume this is a Palo Alto company backed by Sand Hill investors with a Machiavellian plan. They don't realize this is Indie software. And that's flattering, in a way.

I've always kept a low profile. Until now. I'm just not going to sit down and let cranky hacks with opportunistic cynicism dictate what you, the ultimate beneficiary of 3D Mailbox, will or won't enjoy.

Now, at least, you have the other side to the story of the "Worst App Ever".

What Is the Point?

3D Mailbox is a work of the imagination. Its point is to bring happiness to people by making email more entertaining. And it does just that. It has gorgeous water, sun, comedy, great Brazilian music and the sound of the sea, seagulls, and tropical breezes. But it also helps you defeat spam in a novel, and very effective way, with an integrated spam filter that actually works like a charm.

We pulled off a challenging technical feat: Designing a full-featured email client from scratch, and embedding a cutting-edge shader-based game engine inside it. The same kind that powers Half Life 2, Halo, etc. My programmers and artists are geniuses.

As one perceptive blogger pointed out, there is no way a small company can take on Gmail and Outlook Express on their terms. We made up our own terms. We break rules. And it's only natural that the rule-oriented folks will try to slap our wrists.

Thanks for the Mammaries

Whether you are a 3D Mailbox lover or hater, thanks for reading this. Now go download the software and see for yourself!

-- Robert Savage, 3D Mailbox Creator

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